never bring a spoon to a knife fight
certain types of forks are ok
butter knives are for buttering and soft cutting
sharp knives are for chopping and difficult incisions
stabbing knives (ie: bayonets) are for making salads.
update: never bring a spoon to any fight
unless it’s a fight against soup
in which case you may find a ladle to be much more deadly
finally, remember that parachutes and silverware are not interchangeable items
make sure they are properly labeled “parachutes” and “silverware”
they should be stored separately
always in dry places at room temperature.
About the author:
Zachary Whalen lives on Vancouver Island. Some of his poems have appeared recently in Calliope Nerve, Clutching at Straws, and Deuce Coupe, among other places. Stray poems and words sometimes end up at his blog (zacharywhalen.blogspot.com).
