The Absence or Addition of Fish by Scott Wrobel

Screenwriting 5001: "Finish-the-Script" Assignment

Your task is to read the opening scene from the following unfinished screenplay and keep writing until you finish a three-act screenplay, which you will present at semester's end in my office.

Dr. Thomas Edwards, Phd.
English Department Chair

FADE IN:

INT. STUDIO APARTMENT – LATE NIGHT

CLOSE ON: TELEVISION SCREEN SHOWING A TROPICAL FISH AQUARIUM

Ten fish swim: two fantail Guppies, two Angel Fish, two Gouramies, and four Zebra fish. All fish except the Zebras hang motionless in pairs in opposite corners of the tank. The Angel Fish hover over the forest of plastic plants. The Zebras swim back and forth across the top, chasing each other like kids on a playground.

We hear only the sound of aquarium bubbles, a recurring image, and there will be other circular objects as well -- clocks, baseballs, globes -- that will reflect the "life-cycle" theme that mirrors the plot, which begins here and ends here, with a full-screen shot of an aquarium, but instead of there being ten fish at the end, there should be fewer, or more. Either way, the absence or addition of fish should be significant to the arc. You decide.

ZOOM OUT – SLOW CONTINUOUS

The camera pulls back to reveal the sprinkling of fish food. The fish bolt for the surface, chopping into the flakes that fall like the snow in Christmas globes, except these flakes are brown and yellow, the colors of decay, which reflect the main character's descent.

Along with the noise of bubbles, we hear someone crying, and then we hear MR. ROGERS talking. As the camera pulls back, we see more of the hand that feeds the fish, a thin wrist covered by a red sweater.

MR. ROGERS (O.S)

I know you like the fish-food, fish, and I sure do like feeding you.

Mr. Rogers feeds his fish in the kitchen. As the (movie) screen fills with the TV screen (which shimmers because TV's shimmer on film), Fred Rogers makes eye contact with the audience.

MR. ROGERS

(Knitting his brows and angling his head to deliver a message)

It's nice to take care of animals. Do you have pets? It's a lot of work taking care of pets, but it's worth it because you feel good knowing that you're taking care of something you love.

This is ominous to the theme. It foreshadows some heavy tension, or could, depending on what you choose. I'm not trying to impose a direction.

The camera pulls back continuously, and we see an entertainment center filling the screen, a stereo on the left. Mr. Rogers' voice gives way to a low sobbing and a wet rubbing noise as though someone is masturbating while watching Mr. Roger's Neighborhood. Masturbation is not a sin. The room fills our view as the camera rises and looks straight down onto a coffee table littered with: 1) butt-stuffed ashtray, 2) an empty bottle of Karkov vodka, 3) three Becks beer bottles, 4) two empty pill bottles lying on their sides, and 5) a pistol with the chamber closed.

The gun should recur throughout as a motif because even though this is an artistic movie, it has a plot. Viewers expecting a standard suspense-plot will be happy as will viewers who are engaged by imagery as they drink scotch and smoke pot, creative acts that some ex-wives have used, at the nudging of their counsel, to demonstrate INSTABILITY and ACUTE DEPRESSION rather than ARTISTIC PASSION. I'm not depressed.

ZOOM IN – DIVORCED MAN'S BARE LEGS ON THE EDGE OF THE COFFEE TABLE IN THE STUDIO APARTMENT

Though his bare feet rest on the coffee table, his legs are covered by a blue blanket. The camera moves up the man's body and we see the blanket rising and falling around his mid-section; then, the camera swings around the room, up the wall, across the ceiling to the other wall, really fucking fast, and lowers itself to the TV, as if we are now Mr. Rogers looking out at the viewer, who is the man on a couch with a blanket pulled over him, masturbating and crying. This is GLENN, the main character, recently divorced and living in a studio apartment while his kids live with the ex-wife in a suburban executive-style home than Glenn paid for.

ZOOM IN – GLENN'S EYES

(look at them)

Glenn's face is unshaven. Tears stream down his cheeks, eyes red slits, full of liquor, smoke. Glenn's eyes are the eyes of pain.

The crying fades and transitions to a voice-over, the voice of the man masturbating on the couch, Glenn. It's a calm voice, business-like, and we hear it making observations while at the same time we stare into his wasted eyes. This creates an uncomfortable dissonance. The narrator may or may not be dead as he does the voice-over while masturbating to Mr. Roger's Neighborhood. The audience laughs nervously. Others head for the exits. Kudos.

Glenn (V.O.)

Ever since I was a kid, I wondered why Mr. Rogers kept an aquarium in his kitchen. I know he has a small house and the living room window pedestal, which would be perfect for an aquarium, is used by Trolley, but an aquarium in a kitchen? Then again, some say the kitchen is the warmest room in a house. That makes me think of my own kitchen when it was full of children. Oh, nevermind. Who wants to hear my story? Still, seeing the fish makes me sad.

(beat)

This is my story.

(beat)

"I Just Want to Celebrate" by Rare Earth comes on LOUD.

SMASH CUT TO . . .

Recommendations for Finishing the Script

I have created the most objectionable opening scene in film. Your task is to continue and finish three acts. As you write, consider the following guidelines. Feel free to ignore them:

This should be a serious story about a man who has made fatal decisions and lost his family, but will he get up off the couch at the start of Act III and reclaim his family? Sooner, maybe? I'll be interested to see how you handle this.
Avoid stage directions.
The rest of Act I and II should be back-story that leads us back to the apartment at the start of Act II, where Glenn will be RESURRECTED from the couch because someone will knock on the door or maybe a phone will ring. Maybe he will learn how to be happy. This would be worthy of an A grade. Any forward progress would guarantee a B.
The purpose of scene two should be to get the viewer to like Glenn, who is likeable beneath the weight of his ARTISTIC PASSION, which his ex called ACUTE DEPRESSION and SEX ADDICTION in her deposition.
The fish are not metaphors. They are just things Fred Rogers happened to be feeding.
The fish should be metaphors, along with the bubbles, gun, and vodka. Note that the vodka is a cheap brand. It's all Glenn can afford because his wife has better lawyers.
The fish should not parallel any of the characters; nor should the Angel Fish have any significance just because Glenn's wife took Glenn's little angels and turned them against him.
See me with questions.

About the author:
Scott Wrobel has published stories and essays in The Rake, Identity Theory, Night Train, Pindeldyboz, Great River Review, Minnesota Monthly, among other publications; he is also a recipient of the 2006-7 Loft Mentor Series Award. Scott has recently finished a collection of stories titled CUL DE SAC, from which "The Absence or Addition of Fish" appears. Visit www.scottwrobel.com.