Two Poems by Steve Subrizi

2029

I was sitting in my computer room with Sam
when I suddenly saw that it was 1 p.m.
Immediately I became hungry,
so I hit “lunch” on my iHome,
but nothing happened.

So I hit “lunch” again.
Again, nothing happened.

I had it set to “chicken sandwich.”
I figured maybe it was out of chickens,
so I changed it to “tuna sandwich”
and hit lunch a third time.
Again, nothing happened,

and Sam told me that fish
had gone extinct last Tuesday
(he checked it on his BlackBerry)
so I changed it to “egg sandwich”
and hit lunch one more time.
Nothing happened.

At this point, I was starving.
I felt like I could kill someone.
I killed Sam.
He was right there.
I ate his arms.
I would have cooked him first,
but I didn’t know how.

So I think that that’s how I got sick.

Seaweed Baby

Hey!
Heeeeeey!

Come over here.
Look at me.
I’m a baby.
I’m caught in some seaweed.

First I was playing in the sand and then
I was playing in the water and now
I barely know what’s happening
but I want my mom.

I barely ever know what’s happening
because the memory part of my brain hasn’t finished developing.
I don’t know how I know that.
All I know is first I ate from my mom’s breast
and then she started sticking a bottle in my face
and now all I know is being stuck in seaweed
and thrashing in the water.

I’ve been here a really long time.
I don’t know what a “really long time” is
but every other second I’m drowning
like how every morning I wake up in a cage.

I can’t move my foot.
My ribs are jammed against the mud.

Don’t talk to me about Darwin.
Don’t say “natural selection.”
I’m a baby.
I don’t care.

I don’t care if you’re having a big beach barbeque party.
Just put down your hamburger.
Just help me out of this shit.

About the author:

Steve Subrizi is a co-host and reader at the poetry mic at Cantab Lounge in Cambridge, Massachusetts, where he has a mixed drink named after him (basically a whiskey tonic with a lime). He also has a B.A. from Emerson College, an acoustic guitar, and a poor sense of direction. He blogs drafts and vegan recipes at http://theprettiestgirlinschool.blogspot.com/.