Comments on: My Sweet Warrior by David Erlewine

By: C. L. Randall

C. L. Randall — Sat, 22 Jan 2011 12:46:29 +0000

Nice story. However…..

It takes too long for me to understand it’s mom telling the story.

The paragraph where he’s sleeping is excellent, but my first thought was that’s exactly how I would describe picking up my dog and carrying him to bed. Don’t get me wrong, I love my dog, perhaps too much….

Part of the magic of story telling is leaving out pieces of the picture now, so I want to read the rest. I’m thinking your story could be even better if you worked with the pieces you’re leaving in and leaving out.

By: josh medsker

josh medsker — Mon, 06 Dec 2010 15:54:07 +0000

David,

Very nice, as always. Good job on getting the story in the Flash Fiction anthology. See ya!–Josh

By: Guy Hogan

Guy Hogan — Fri, 21 May 2010 18:44:57 +0000

I wonder what Brice will do. I don’t have children but I know about the Spartans. I enjoyed the story. I just wonder what Brice will do. The way you presented the relationships between the father and son is a perfect example of “show don’t tell”. Excellent.

By: david e

david e — Wed, 17 Mar 2010 21:04:03 +0000

thanks everybody for the comments

By: Jason

Jason — Tue, 16 Mar 2010 17:01:48 +0000

It’s amazing how this story says so much with so few words!

By: Joe

Joe — Tue, 16 Mar 2010 13:55:23 +0000

I can relate the father’s hope and endless frustration. Excellent work David!!

By: Adam

Adam — Tue, 16 Mar 2010 13:38:18 +0000

Great stuff, Dave. I really enjoyed it!

By: Dawn Allison

Dawn Allison — Tue, 16 Mar 2010 00:23:24 +0000

Stunning.

By: antonios maltezos

antonios maltezos — Mon, 15 Mar 2010 20:55:56 +0000

Good and proper ending, David. Love it when the writer leaves something for me to bring home.